On the way there, she decided to get the festivities started early...

Several years after my own graduation, I had returned to UWG as a staff member in student services.

Soon afterwards I was convinced to serve as a faculty advisor for my old fraternity. As the advisor I was required to accompany the members to a regional leadership conference in Birmingham, AL.

Following the wrap up of the conference meetings on the first night, we decided to hit the local bar scene. Being a bit older and not as party-driven as my young charges, I decided to retire back to the hotel around 1 am. I instructed the rest of the guys to be careful and to try to make it back in time for some sleep before we had to be at the conference again the next morning.

So I returned to the hotel and hit the sack. At about 4:30 am, my hotel phone rang and woke me from my slumber. It was one of the undergraduate members, I'll call him Gill, calling me from JAIL!

He said that he had been stopped for DUI (which in itself was a mystery because I had driven the group there in a van) and needed me to come get him around 6 am when they would release him.

I said I would, and then promptly fell back asleep. The next time the phone rang, it was 10 am! Gill was frantic and wanted to know where I was. I apologized and headed out to the police station to bail him out. When I arrived at the station, I told the duty clerk who I was there to get and she busted out laughing. Every cop that I dealt with in the process of picking Gill up could not keep a straight face.

Finally I was able to finish the process and Gill and I headed out to the van where I heard the whole story.

Shortly after I left the bar the night before, Gill had hooked up with a girl from Tulane. They decided to head back to her place, and Gill got behind the wheel of HER car to take them back to her apartment. On the way there, she decided to get the festivities started early, and went down on him while he was driving! Her mouth music caused him to swerve a bit in the road, and as luck would have it, a police car was behind them at the time.

The policeman stopped them, and although Gill's breathalyzer was below the legal limit for DUI, the officer hauled him in anyways.

Gill said that by the time he reached the station, every police officer had heard of about this new form of DUI (dick-sucking under influence)!