I'm so sorry for what happened to youu...im sure those girls that are talking shitt dont even know themselves & there just too dumb to relize it.

just one more thing to say to THS... actually yah college kids do drink just to have fun... not necesarily for sex... i drink, my girfriend does not, we dont have sex when i drink but that doesnt meen i dont love slammin back a couple cold ones with my boys and have a good night, or going bowling with 5 dollar pitchers and sing kareoke until all night... i agree with you that getting drunk can add to sexual tension and can be a factor in poor decision making but college kids dont drink so they can have sex... they drink because its fun.

i just want to say to all of you ass holes who say this is partly her fault... rape starts the second the girl doest want it anymore... that means if you have been having consentual sex for an hour and the girl says i dont want to anymore if you keep going its rape... so even if she did flirt, or even if she had gone to the dorm room but ass naked that still doesnt mean she wants to ahve sex, and she obviously didnt want to have sex... which means this is rape. My sister was raped by her boyfriend i wanted to kill that son of a bitch... she wouldnt let me cuz she sed she still loved him... what makes it worse two years after my sister broke up with him he started dating one of my best friends and first girlfriends... I tried to warn her but she trusted his fake story over mine and my sisters, and practically ruined the frendship... they broke up i hope not for the same reason as my sister.... i guess im just babbling right now but stay strong as hard as it seems things will get better, for all of you, and to the brothers and fathers and boyfriends, youre not alone

I think there are a few people who commented here who are total pricks and potentially the sorts who would be rapists themselves, at least under the influence of something. But a few comments are more intelligent, they are only saying that 'hey, you are not guilty of being raped, OBVIOUSLY, and your attacker is an evil man, but that does not mean that getting drunk and already having a relatively casual attitude to sex (if you are a contraception queen at age of 18) are okay and irrelevant to what happens in your life. This is the rather destructive feminist derivative of anti-rape campaigns...basically that it is empowering for women to behave like BAD, ROWDY (not 'normal') GUYS but automatically be treated differently when they demand it. NO NO NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN RAPING A DRUNK GIRL OR ANY GIRL IS EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER OKAY, and to imply that that is what I am saying would be dishonest (but I still suspect some will). The truth is both men and women EQUALLY should respect chastity. If you were both willing to have sex it would not be totally okay. It is when the sexual act is cheapened to be an animal desire to be filled on a whim by consenting adults (one, two, or more) that you will always have these problems. Face the facts, the sexual revolution largely made it easier for men to take advantage of women. And alcohol facilitates sex (don't try to tell me college kids get wasted because it is fun in itself). You cannot support women behaving provocatively in the name of being progressive or feminist but expect men to behave like monks any more than it was right for women to be subjected to very strict Victorian morality WHILE men were permitted to visit prostitutes. For the record, I am 27 and a virgin...I have been in a relationship for 5 years which will become a marriage in a few months. Every time we (fiancee and I) came close to having real sex, one of said 'no'. So in my opinion, neither men nor women need any excuses for getting trashed and not keeping it in their pants.

I am deeply bothered by the poeple who have "read" this article and criticizing this poor person. Were you there? Are you them? Have you the same feelings they feel? No. So how can you even attempt to judge what happened? Of course this was rape. Sex involves 2 CONSENTING people, and if at any point in time the one person says no (even if they initially might have been interested), and the other person does not stop, it is rape. Being under the influence of drugs or alcohol does not make forced sex any less of a crime, and it's called rape. Would it be more accepted as rape had she been drugged by someone else, instead of being drunk on her own accord, and then told someone no as she was being sexually assaulted? I truly wish there were a way to track down people who respond to these stories saying it rape victims fault. They seriously need help, and that might make our society a little less frightening. It's pretty sad to think that you can't even trust going out with people, people you KNOW none the less, and fear them taking advantage of you while enebriated. Aren't they supposed to be the ones who are protecting you from the "bad" people out there??

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLES? the girl was RAPED! it doesn't matter if she was high on drugs, or anything like that, it don't matter if she first agrres to it, then changes her mind, it STILL RAPE! rape is rape, when a girl says NO, she means it, fuck off you dumb cunts, ok that girl was not at fault, she said NO! but he never stoped! your not at fault here! i know what ur going threw! and its not a pleasent or a good thing to have happend in ur life, she is doin the best she can! its not ur fault! cheer up, stay strong best wishes!

There is a middle ground between blaming rape victims and holding them completely blameless. The author is living an irresponsible lifestyle and taking risks. That doesn't mean she "deserves" to be raped. It means she greatly increases the chances of it. One can take precautions against crimes without excusing them. If we're going to take rape and other crimes seriously, we also need to emphasize the need to live responsibly.

Rape victims today have a number of resources, thank God. I wonder if any of you realize how much worse the situation was before the feminist movement.

Well things happen. The issue here is that africa is worst hit. Few know what it means to press charges. Others are afraid to do so especialy when the bad one is of a supposedly higher status. Stigma... Another factor. Sun reported last sunday of a raped lady banker who paid her rescurers to keep it a secret and that she can take care of here self...I am sure she knows how to press charges but she wont.

Sorry if I sound chauvenist, but I'd appreciate the comments i get anyway: I'm not sure I'm thinking right. Tell me if I've got it right: While I do not agree with Invisibl, I do not find myself fully believing that the author, although she has, no doubt suffered, did not...for lack of a better phrase "ask for it". I understand that saying "No" means "No". But honestly, she DID send the signals that meant she wanted sexual contact. 1. She did flirt viciously; A guy would only start flirting with such a vengeance if he is trying to test the waters. 2. She says, although she has the right not to be entirely correct, that she was not that drunk. (I'm assuming that this is correct, and that her judgement is not flawed) 3. When she went out that night, she was fully aware of the consequences of drinking this heavily. She, in fact, most likely knew that this was, forgive me, 'bad-gal' behaviour. Now I understand that in NO WAY does this mean that she has no right to let her hair down, but when playing with fire... But at this point I am confused...hold on, let me collect my points... Okay, now that I've thoughtr through it, I realize that the reason I seem not to think of it fully as rape, is because it seems to me that she deliberately decided to be 'loose' that night. Please bear with me; back to the previous point, when playing with fire, at least hold it away from you. She MUST have KNOWN that on a night out drinking this much, she would be more vulnerable; She MUST have KNOWN that she should at LEAST have had ONE other trusted friend with her. It is NOT her fault for getting raped; she could not understand the signals, and the situation, sine she was drunk. I understand that her judgment was impaired. So...on the other hand...ok. Now I see it. Goody. I've thought through the situation, and my points of doubt were demolished one by one. I think I understand now. Now, fomr my cool new point of enlightenment, I'm gonna examine the rapist's side of the story. Let's assume I'm Mike. (conveniently, also, I'm a male in real life.) I'm Mike. I know this girl, and we're friends. I assume we met in college, but have been able to talk freely enough, etc. Call this girl, Sue. Sue had her 18th b-day party. Me and Josh encountered Sue and her friend Lily, drunk, sitting on a bench outide the dorm. Okay... Well, from the tone used at this point in the story, I can reasonably conclude that Mike and Josh deliberately persuaded sue and Lily to come to their dorm. If I were Mike, the only reason I could possibly think of for inviting such obvious trouble into my room, is that I wanted to see if I had a chance at 'getting some'. I can't think of any other plausilbe reason. My theory follows through, when the author says that Mike started flirting furiously. He was obviously testing the waters to see if Sue was in the mood. (Note, not if she wanted to have sex with him, but if she was at all interested in sex at the moment). Sue misinterprets and flirts back. She is obviously NOT street smart. However, her naivety is No EXCUSE for Mike to conclude that a little flinging of her hair, especially when drunk means that she is into you. From here, confident that she wants sex, Mike decides to make his move. Now he made several mistakes. There's nothing wrong with trying your luck, Mike, but...seriously, ASK FIRST. 1. Sue never touched you. She was not interested in sexual contact. 2. Even if, say, she had stroked your leg, or something, SHE WAS DRUNK. A drunk girl is trouble, period. (no pun intended). Whether or not she seems to consent is beside the point. Her judgement is impaired. She will do things, that, under normal circumstances would never happen. 3. Even if she liked you, Mike, she may not have wanted sex. She never initiated contact. 4. Mike, I mean...god...control-your-hormones...dude... As soon as she stepped in the room your pants were off? WTF? You sick little shit! Now at this point, the majority of normal young men, would not have had their pant off. I am sure of it. They would have lounged in a chair in the room making small talk. Not so? Then from here, a young man making his move would indicate that "Hey, I have concluded that you want sex; But I am about to make my move: I will not intrude; I am about to hint to you in obvious terms that I am trying something." This, I believe is the normal pattern. So a normal boy would actually do something like walk up and touch her hands, or nervously attempt to embrace her, or something. Now he could have simply asked, or made a VERBAL announcement, but he's trying to be charming or something stupid like that, so he decides to...PIN her to the bed? ARE YOU A FREKING IDIOT, Mike? From here on it is totally Mike's fault. In fact as soon as he entered the room, Mike went totally wrong. The proper thing to do is to WAIT, mike, until you have an OBVIOUS, UNDENIABLY, VOLUNTARY response from the girl. A DEFINITE POSITIVE. This is the norm. Thanks, to the author. I have reasoned out in my mind the points behind this tragic night. I hope people comment on this post; This was actually my flow of thought. Now that I understand rape a bit better, I feel better about myself. Mike was stupid; Simply because she sent SIGNALS doesn't mean she wanted sex; And when she seemed distressed, it was an obvious "NO". Also, signals mean nothing; This is a very important lesson for me: SIGNALS MEAN NOTHING; I'll remember that. Thank you, author.

damn i feel bad4 u mike came near me and i was a girl i would punch his @$$ out i say kill him! jk

I do no condone anyone being raped, but you definatelt have to take some credit for some of what happened to you! You were only 18, shouldn't have been drinking to begin with. You were obviously way more drunk than you imply if you drank as much as you said. You admit giving the guy mixed signals, and being so drunk, maybe you don't have the facts as they really were. I find someone that goes to the public like this less believeable than someone that would have handled this privately. No it's not totally your fault, but you played a part. PS---"MIke" is not pardoned for this, he still did you wrong!

erm.hi. im sorry to hear about you and ii hope you got ok iin the end ino thiis sounds wierd but im actually 14 and got raped when i was 13 but no one can do anyhting and really the person who did it too you better be in prison

THIS STORY IS REAL. FUK INVISIBLE.. OR W.E.. I AM 16 I WAS RAPED WHEN I WAS 9 ALL THE WAY UNTIL I WAS 13 BY A RELITIVE. I VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE EXCEPT MY BESTFRIEND AND YOU GUYS.. I WAS SO HURT .. INSTEAD OF PUSHING AWAY FROM SEX I WANTED MORE OFTEN I WAS SO YOUNG I LEARNED TO QUICKLY WHICH MADE ME FEEL LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT. I FEEL LIKE IF I TOLD MY PARENT THEY'D CRITIZISE ME AND SAY WHY I WOULD TAKE SO LONG. I NEVER SENT MIXED SIGNALS..HE WAS FAMILY WHY WOULD I ? .. I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND OF TOO YEARS WHO .. ITS HARD FOR ME TO TRUST ALTHO HE IS SUCH A GREAT GUY IT HURTS TO HAVE TO THINK BACK ON OLD THINGS AND AS MUCH AS I TRIED TO PUT IT BEHIND ME IT WILL ALWAYS HURT. YU CAN FORGIVE BUT YOU NEVER HAVE TO FORGET. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY AND BEING OPEN MINDED AND HELPING OUT A Lil . THOSE WHO HAVENT EXPERIENCED IT CANT JUDGE. NO ONES STORY IS BIGGER THAN ANOTHER ..EITHER WAY YU'VE BEEEN HURT AND IT HAS BEEN SOMETHING THATS CHANGED YOUR LIFE..I AM NOT A HOE BUT I DO ENJOY SEX.. AS MUCH AS I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX I DO.. I FEL LIKE ..WHEN IM HIT ON I NEED TO...??? IN MY HEART I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT MY HEAD WILL TELL ME OTHERWISE. I HONESTLY DO APPRECIATE YOUR STORY. GOD BLESS YOU (( AND FUK ALL THA HATERSZ. IF YU HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO SAY.SAY NOTHING AT ALL)

WHY EVERYBOBY TALKIN ABOUT SHE DIDNT GET RAPED YALLL DONT KNOW WHAT YALL TALKIN ABOUT IF SHE GOT RAPED THAN SHE DID WHEN SHE SAID STOP HE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED GURL I FEEL YOU KEEP HOLDIN YO HEAD UP AND DONT CARE WHAT ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE ON HERE TALKIN BOUT YOU DO YOU LET THE HATERS HATE

hey u k i understand how u must feel how u think thev whole world is against u i was raped twice by my sister and uncle and that cant be any better for me when i have to face her but am still living so can u i was only a kid only 15 i hpe them devil get punished for what they did 2 us i hpe u live and have a happy life again

I don't even care if it was rape or not im sorry that happened to you. and when its all over, you feel so alone like everyone in the world is against you. or not, you feel numb. Yes, i know how you feel. i mean i wasnt raped, but i was molested at 10 by the one boy i once truly loved. ha, and it effected my alot. so, i just think your story was truly amazing.

It was rape indeed.Just because she asked for him to put a rubber on didnt mean she asked him to fuck her...It was wrong and disgreading....

Thank you for your courage to speak the truth. It is animals like "Mike" that cause the rest of the male population to deal with the recourse of their actions. I see that several "Mike's" have added comments on here when they should be getting help for their sexual problems. It is sad that this is the truth of our society, but it is also true that not all men act this way. For those who don't understand, simply consider leaving something of great value parked where a thief could steal it. With it now gone, is it your fault it was stolen?

hi, thanks for ur story, only recently i have been raped. It is difficult, and tore me when it happened. I was scared, emotional, i cried all the time, my boyfriend wanted to go further, and i couldn't commit myself. Not only did it affect me, it affect everything i did. thanks for this. i will be posting my story, so i can help those, like you have helped me

o and invisibl is a fat fuck! whore u dont no wat rape is u dumb bitch!

omg! i feel bad 4 u! iwas raped by my uncle ino how ya feel!! =[

You are having an argument over a minor issue with someone, he calls you names, you call him names, he pushes you push back and the argument goes into a fight. I forgot to tell you that he is much stronger than you, therefore the fight is not a fight but is him beating you. How does it sound? Does it sound good to you? How do you think it makes you feel when someone is beating the hell out of you? Beating is violence and violence is never justified. Never. Well rape is violence therefore rape is never justified as well. Remember, men can be victimized and raped too. It could happen to anyone. Most guys say that it wasn't rape because the rapist had been led on, led on? what the hell does it mean? Flirting is part of our society, it's not a sexual invite to be abused, mixed signals can be clarified by asking the woman if she wants or does not want to have sex. There are unwritten rules about sexual comunication and even jestures in our society. It is the woman who sets the rules, and it is the woman who gives the go ahead signal in healty relationships. There are scientific studies about this. It's like peacocks showing their colors or other species dancing a love dance. Each species is different, it is the female to decide mating in our society. Some men don't accept this, they don't want to wait, they don't want to waist time courting a woman and they find it easier to abuse.And they love to abuse, they love it so much they plan it ahead and never regret raping. They'll find any excuse possible to justify their behavious, they'll rape you beat you and then blame you, all that while insulting you and making you ashamed. What's that got to do with sex, which was created to make us happy? Not only Wemen but peole in general should be aware that not every person is trust worthy. There are people who do not follow the rules,they abuse, they beat children or women, rape, even kill, and some of them disguise as normal people. It takes years to learn how to spot and avoid this type of people, unluckily young people are not wise, don't regognize the bad guys and end up being abused. The victim falls into the abuser net only because the abuser has spent his entire life planning abuse and knows how to do it while making you feel guilty. All I mean to say is that we should not match rape with sex, but we should associate rape with hurt, violence, abuse in one word. I learned a lesson about ten years ago, a good lesson about abuse. See, I don't even call it rape, it was abuse, violence before being rape. I knew the attacker, he was a friend lived in the same building I lived and was a lawyer. Noone to worry about untill the day he beat me raped me insulted me and blamed me. I knew nobody would believe me so I didn't bother telling the cops, it would have added shame to the shame. It's ironic how people react to rape, they blame you, treat you like a prostitute or like a creazy bitch. I too asked him to wear a condom! I remember very clearly him being on top of me pushing hard to break me into. Me screaming :-no please-, crying, he slapping my face, calling me names trying again to shove his thing into me, eventually going soft upon entering my vagina. He made me blow him before releasing me. I was in his flat, one story under mine. He must have given signs he was an abuser, I had gut feelings but I ignored then since I was 19 and had been taught to be nice to people. I learned that we are never safe and that I must listen to my inner voice, you know guts never lie, instinct can save our life. Good luck to anyone who's ever been abused in any way

Fuck you, you INVISIBLE piece of shit. I hope you rot in hell.

What is wrong with you people it doesnt matter if a person was flirting got drunk was high or whatever they were doing once a person says no its RAPE AND ITS WRONG AND IT SUCKS I CAN SAY FIRST HAND HOW IT FEELS BECAUSE I WAS RAPED AND ITS WRONG.

Islam IS THE CURE.. modest dressing for women and men.. men n women should lower their gaze modestly when interacting with opposites.. and then too if someone rapes.. LASHES FOR UNMARRIED ADULTERER, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR EFFING MARRIED RAPISTS WHO DAMAGE THE FAMILY STRUCTURE AND A MIND IRREPAIRABLY :@ PRACTICAL LAW, IMPLEMENT AND GET RESULTS

Fuck all of you men that think it's her fault. I am a survivor of RAPE and i hope condemns him to hell!!!!! I don't care if she was drunk... he had no right to RAPE her!!!! You inconsiderate men are the ones who give rapist a good name....fuck you!!!!!!

i'm sorry you got raped. i am a guy, so i can't put myself in your position. i wasn't there to see what was said or done to have led to your raping. but i have learned that girls or woman like to tease to get what they want and i had girls play with me all the time, i had to jerk off most of my life, but for us humans we take it like if we are more then a being, with rules that we think protects us, that almost defie nature itself. to me we are just like any other animal on this planet, we have cravings and urges that are natural. in the animal kingdome does the male ask to the female if he can have sex? no he just does what is natural, reproduce! in this day of age the woman has more right then the guy, and sometimes girls put to much emphasis on what they want and the rules. to much power! don't get me wrong, i'm not saying it was right of him to do that, i sure wouldn't want my daughter to get raped. but we do live in a dark world where nothing is safe and we don't have a protective sheild around ourself, so it's our job as individuals to protect ourselfs at all time and not depend on the rules of society to protect us so you can't trust anyone but yourself!

okay i know his may seem like rpe but like the girl said, it was not rape, you were being permiscuous and flirted with him and drinking. It was ur idea to go to bed and bring him along, he didn't rape you, it may of been to you, but in my eyes it was you wanting to get shit faced and fuck around with boys.

that fuck head at the very top of the comments the first one to make one you are a fucking arse hole I hope some one rapes you in the arse when you are trying to have some fun and see how you hold up when some one says you deserved it you wanted it and you flirted you insensitive prick!

MelloYello84, I assume that you are 23 years of age and yet you can't define the clearity behind your perspective. What happened in this case is that the Author have lost a sense of esteem which has dignified her poorly managed behavior and awarness towards a drunk male. It is obvious that being intoxicated, this girl have failed to deny Mike's scarce sexual desires as well as failing to attemp to call for help . Instead, she has fallen into the state of sexual pleaure which she has done nothing about but saying "NO" or "Put on a condom". She had no crave or desire to stay safe that night; therefore, it is an absolute half of her fault of being raped. In addition, she is a fretful and cranky bitch who brags about this to the entire world throught the internet.

Anonymous Miami, FL

The really sad thing is that for every instance something like this happens, there are 10 others where the girls just fucks some guy and later regrets it, and then claims rape to save face. Or just straight up lie about it. It's CUNTS like that who just desensitize everyone to rape in general. Just take a look at Kobe Briant or those football players from awhile back. I'm so fucking sick of shit like this.

I have to give the person who posted this props for actually coming out and talking about it, but I have to say that most rape cases are bullshit.

i was raped by a person i didn't even noe they raped me ata my friendz wedding i was sleeping at a motle and it was like a 10 min walk from the place the wedding was and it was dark the (guy that raped me was [NAME DELETED] )the guy [NAME DELETED] said that he will walk me there so we get in 2 my room and i goo change coz it was raining and by the time i come bak he was in my bed and i say y r u on my bed he says its cold so can i plz lie her 4 a while and i say okay and when i get in he had no colthes on and the he hurts me starts 5 take my clothes off unties my hair my clothes are on the floor my bra in my hand i am leing on the end of the bed he hold me hard pushs me down and i had me perids to he did that 4 the hole night then i go 2 sleep and i can still feel him in the moring i go 2 the bathroom and i come bake and his not there!!

so i noe how make it hurts and now i am pregnat and he came back and asked if i would forgive him.

i my self was raped in november. the guy didnt understand the word no. and now im 4 months preg. my mom knows and so does my dad that i was raped but i choice not to tell them that the doc. found out that i am preg. i dont have the heart to tell them. but the thing that makes me strong is that my friend i found when i ran away has been by my side the whole. so i kno how u feel bc we had been drinking to but my friend wasnt there when i got drunk.. and trust me its not ur fault i felt like is was mine but then i realized its his fault for not understanding the word no and i bleg and pled for him to stop and he jus smacked me a cross and told me to shut the f**k up stay strong and thanks for sharing your story.

Am a guy.

Ignore Invisbl's response, it seems he would likely perpetrate the crime, than to understand. When a girl says NO, IT MEANS NO. Period. Even if she supposedly "led him on". The fact that she asked him to put on a condom was a smart call. What if he had AIDs?

Now, DID ANY ONE OF YOU MAKE A POLICE REPORT? Or are you going to let the rapist / assailant go free, to do this on someone else?

One never forgets. One day you might just turn around and WISH you sought justice. Then it might just be too late. Never be afraid of reporting a rape or a sexual assault.

For any and all of you who say that this was this woman's fault, may God have mercy on your soul. I was raped last year, by someone I thought was my friend. I had a boyfriend at the time, and I have never dressed provacatively in any way. I was not under the influence of any kind of drugs or alcohol at the time. This man came to my house, saying my boyfriend had sent him there to pick up a DVD. I let this man in the door, went to my TV to get the DVD, and when I turned around, he had a gun pointed at my chest. He made me strip for him, and hit me when I started to cry. He said it "ruined the mood". I had never, in any way, led this person to believe that I wanted any kind of sexual relationship with him. He chose to take it, and with it, a large part of me. How dare you people who have never experienced this kind of sheer terror and humiliation say that this woman brought this on herself? He who is without sin shall cast the first stone. Are any of you perfect? Yeah, that's what I thought.

that was not rape it was him having a good time and the top that link is just making it look like your trying to get attention

it is never ur fault if a person gets raped No means plain ass No don't ever blame urself for any of that happening to u. Never blame urself. i was never personally raped, but ive been with people that have been. even though u drank irresponsibly it isnt ur fault that he raped u. if u said no that meant fucking NO!! Invisbl ur just a bitch or in ur heart it really happened to u and ur just trying to hide it. That's my opinion of u invisbe. If I have a wrong idea then im wrong and tell me. But when she said no then he procedded it was called (RAPE)!!! My sister was raped by my cousin and i had to deal with it afterward. I was in the room when he did it even thoug i wasn't fully consience (i was asleep) i feel guilty about it every day that i see my sister every time i see her cry over a guy, every time i think about my passed. It was really fucked up and now im making myself pay for it, it's probably wrong of me but i am i can't help myself she was my sister and i did nothing about it for the longest time, her boyfriend at the time called cps on him when he found out then he made her call my mom, and telll her the whole story. It was hard for my sister. And i can't really relate to getting raped but i've known people personall who have been and that makes it even worse that you can't do anything about it.

why r u ms.invisbl such a bitch has this ever happend to u or what couse maybe then we can understand why u say that shit

that is fucked up u dont know how that is untill it happens to u so dont talk shit if u dont know how thay feel espically you invisbl

hi my name is alex and i was raped. so i know what your going throug. i'm very sorry u were raped. its not your falt.

Dear Brothers and Sister's, May Allah's(Gods) Mercy and Blessing be on you all. I read the stories of Sisters and felt the need to write this post so as to make them understand some things but before I do that let me tell you something about myself. I am, age 26, a Muslim and a Virgin who has never had a girlfriend. Coming back to the topic first of all I would like to clear a couple of things like 1- Men are physically stronger than Women. 2- Men are more sexually active or their sexual needs are more than Women. So why are these things important?....Its because it makes the basis for the success and intent of the attacker against the women who are raped. Successful rape means the attacker was able to overpower the victim and intent was sexual satisfaction for the attacker. Now the approach should be of prevention better then cure like you don’t want to smoke cigarettes get lung cancer try and get treated and then die of cancer. By the way my father died exactly like that of lung cancer as he was a chain smoker. Anyway so the first problem is the communication between the men and women....Sister said that she said "No" to her rapist but that didn’t prevent him from raping her and she wasn’t physically strong enough to get rid of him or get help. The Communication is of two types 1- Verbal 2- Non-Verbal Verbally the sister said "No" but before that it seems as if she might have given the rapist the wrong idea due to her Non-verbal communication that includes flirting with him and then letting him come to drop her off in her room. It might be so that she did not shun his initial inappropriate flirt actions by taking them as friendly jokes and the rapist got the wrong idea about her and when he tried to come on to her and she said "NO" he didn’t take a "NO" and raped her. I am not stating in any way that sister wasn’t raped. What I am saying is that measures need to be taken by sisters to avoid being in a situation like this. That’s precisely why Islam does not allow the intermingling of the opposite sexes and has a dress code which orders the women to cover their whole bodies in such a way that only the face (not even hair) and hands up to the wrist are visible, it further states that the dress should not be glamorous so as to attract the opposite sex and should neither be transparent nor so tight so as to reveal the figure of the body. For men the requirement is fron naval to the Knees and the rest of the conditions are the same as for the women. Why is it that women are told to cover more portion of the body as compared to men, its because it protects them from mens drolling eyes and helps protect their modesty and chastity and does not send out any wrong signals. I would also like to mention the part alcohol plays in these incidents. In almost 90% cases either the rapist or the victim are under the Influence of Alcohol or drugs. The rapist thinking she was drunk might have though that she might not remember what happened between them in the morning and may think afterwards that she must have did it during being drunk with consent. Alcohol or Drugs are also prohibited (HARAM) in Islam. Also Allah Has orders us men and women to Guard our modesty. In Islam Adultry is punishable by 100 Lashes for un married people and Death for married people. But in case of a Rape as in the sisters case the Punishment for the Rapist is Death. But that is only applicable if the instructions of the Dress code along with the Guidelines were followed. So I say it again "PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE". Stop having extra marital relations thats Adultry By Holy Bible and the Holy Quran. As for the rapist dont worry about him he is not going to get away with it as all of us are answerable to GOD (ALLAH) on the Day of Ressuction for are good deeds and our Sins and GOD (ALLAH) says that he is very mericiful and may forgive all our sins but wont forgive the sins commited against other fellow hunmans as they can only be forgiven if the Culpirit is forgiven by the Victim himself/herself. So rest assured that he is not getting away with it and the fires of Hell await Him. By the way Dont ever think you are alone as God (ALLAH) says he is always with you. And pray to him for forgiveness of your sins and for guiding to the right path and lessen your mental burden. http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~ad361896/anne/cease/rapestatisticspage.html May Allah Bless us all and Forgive All our sins. Ameen www.irf.net

Hi! I am an 18 years old girl from finland. when i was 13, i was raped. i didn't know who he was, and i still don't.. i was on my way home when he came from behind. he was beating me real hard and he said that he would kill me if i said something. at that time my mother was addicted to alcohol. and i didn't dare to talk to her at all, she was always angry.. and my dad was working all the time. instead of talking with some one i kept silent for years and started kutting myself. my wounds was speaking for my pain.. your story inspired me to talk with my boyfriend. he is the only one who knows. when i told him he start crying. he felt very sorry for me. im just glad i can talk about it with some one! it helps alot, so i hope everyone who has been raped will find strenght one day to talk about it! it is important! of course it still remains memories and alot of pain, but i at least have some one to share it with! i am so thankfull for you shareing your story. it has helpt me alot to think that i am not alone about this! deeply respect and everlasting thanks to you! :-) remember, we are not alone!

i do believe that some women do help help their cause by their actions, but it sounds like you told him no from the start. he invited himself in your room...that is rape. it is emotiaonlly scaring. My spouse had someone attempt to rape her ( attempt is what she tells me, but i probably will never know the truth) and it still haunts her. I encourage anyone dont send mixed signals when it comes to it, dont just say no say this is rape. I was in a situation like that and then the girl infomed me I stopped before anything started but later we agreed that you need to be firm

Again....DID YOU REPORT THE F'ING CRIME?

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are very strong and thoughtful to want to help other people. I am yet another person who feels a little bit less alone from hearing your story. So many people have no idea the effect rape can have on one, don't be hurt by their nieve lack of understanding. It's not your fault that you were raped. You did the only thing you were responsible to do, you survived. And with much more strength than some of these other people could imagine having. Stay strong. I am thankful for you.

So, what has happened since? Did you file charges? Are you still drinking? How much of a fight did you put up and did your room mate hear anything?

Its indeed very brave of you to share your story on this forum. what we need to do is create awareness against molestation and rape. as we all have seen invisible commented on the essay in such an irressponsible way and it is people like this who later resort to such offences. while im not blamming you for what happened id like you guys to just think for a second and see the fact that why is it that rape rate has reached its height in countries like america and european countries? we need to realize that we must act a little more responsibly. move in groups, be a little less outspoken with the boys.. for if you see the rape rate is very low in countries like Saudi arabia. if anyone would like to discuss or comment on this isssue that i have just highlighted, i invite you all to mail me at: Vrapecomments@collegestories.com

Woman are gifts from God to us. How sad that, we as fathers and brothers have raped, broken, and wrecked, our daughters and sisters. A woman never never wants to be raped. She never asks for it. She wants to cherished loved and protected.

They have beautiful hearts and how quickly they would forgive you if only you would say you were sorry.

Thank you to all the young women who have shared their story, thanks to all the brothers who weep with them.

Hello my name is _____ and i was raped... i know how you feel and what your talking about..although my rape was a little different because i didnt know the persion; it still had a huge affect on me!i tell people I am a virgin because I never in my life have said yes I will have sex with you so i think that makes me a virgin! I also tell people that it ruined a part of me and my childhood but I am not going to let it ruin the rest of my life. I was 12 when I was raped. It took months before I told anyone and my rapist has not been caught. After it happened, I started cutting then when a friend found out she told my school counsler and I was put into the hspital for depression and cutting. It was not until my second hospital, that i finlly let it out... I just wish you luck with the rest of your life:)

bigmac... i dont think you quite got what she was saying... its more i dont want to get pregnant as well as being raped... coz who really wants some sick fucks baby?? im well proud of you; you're well brave to even dare tell people that... I was raped only a month ago and i told my friends and they still dont give a shit i dont know what they could do really i just no that i dont think people really understand unless its happened to them... i mean i was sexually abused from the age of 6 and no one can help.... but i think your doing really well and i feel bad for all you gurls that its happened to you... hope your all ok.. and guy with the gurl who got raped i hope shes ok too... yeah im babbleing... bye x

i under stand ur pain because i was also i victim of rape and your storie has made me post my storie and gave me a feel of releaf and for any one who juges us for what we have bin through has no right because they can never really under stand unless it happens to them and that is one thing that no one should have wish apon them and i give you credit for having the guts to ask for condom to be put on and all i really have to say is we have the right to say no but there are some pig headed cunts that dont under stand that xxxx

You went to the room shit faced, told him to put on a rubber and then claim rape… that’s not rape; you put yourself in that situation.

Ladies, let us not juss be emotional for nothing. Read and reread throgh this issue and you will discover that this lady is not serious. Whether you had sex or was raped, you really deserved it from the way you dress and do things. I have no more comments but to tell you to revise your behaviour, otherwise you will be at it again. Everyone feels guilt after having premarital sex to the extent of crying. It is a kind of feeling instilled in us by God because we know what is right. Be sorry for yourself for indulging. By Prof

I'm sorry for your tragic experience

Hi; I am sorry for what happen to you. You gave mixed signals at latenight, I guess if Mike didn't do that, it will probably been done by other drunks. Women should understand Man. Sould account for man emotions. I am sorry but the lady was responsible for herself. Where could he have got the condom at that moment, did you offer him. I hope she turns out to be healthy. By Bob

i so srry of wat happen to u and i hope u recover soon, i never been rape but wat happen u made me think alot and i luv the fact tha u had the balls to tell ur story to the world, tha story of wat happen to u is makin alot of girls think. oh and fuk wat invisible said tha nigga got no heart, i want to see if she or he will like to get rape them self. well god best u and i wish u the best!

Oh yeah I forgot to add: Invisible should grow up from that I-am-a-teenage-prick-with-impressive-dong-that-girls-will-like-and-if-it-means-forcing-them-to-enjoy-it-I-will mentality before you make one of the biggest mistakes of your life and possibly destroy other people's lives while you were at it. God save your soul, Amen.

I'm very sorry for what happened to you. My girlfriend was acquaintance raped too and she got pregnant.... When she told me (after the prenancy test) abt the whole thing I went into a rage at my girl because I thought she invited him. She cried and cried and repeatedly saying she didn't invite him. the fu*ker showed up in front of her room and she invited him in without knowing what he would do. In reality, most acquaintance rapes happened because the fu*ker does not know what 'NO' means and let their prick decides for them. I regretted at shouting at my girl but I could not face the issue of having her carrying a baby resulted from a rape. She had an abortion and has been sad about it since then... After 3 years this stil haunts me. I wanted to get my guys to find the fu*ker but he has left the country (probably commiting the rape knowing he can get away with it). I know I can still get my people to find him but my girl is against this. She doesn't want me to end up in jail... so I still remember till this day... It isn't easy but I forgave my girl (I have repeatedly told her not to get close to the guy prior to the rape but she wouldn't listen, its all this independant girl thing..) and have proposed to her for marriage. Although its hard sometimes I did my best to forget the whole matter and move on. We are happy now with what we've got and am happy to say we moved on. Not all stories end up in happy endings mind you and to all those pricks out there thinking its all fun and game to force yourself on a girl, think again before you go to Hell.

invisible, you sir, are a complete idiot.

Yeah, you could say she flirted, and shouldnt of sent mixed signals, but guess what, flirting aint necessarly sexual, just showing that you might like the person to a degree.

And obviously, you dont know what no means. When someone says no, that means NO!

People like Invisibl are ignorant fat fuks that have never been what we have been through, Invisible it was a rape she told him NO he forced himself on her, No one wants to get pregnant from the evil shit that is raping you! Invisibl you are ignorant u r the most ignorant person evr, and gurl telling the story I was raped by a 47 yr old man when i was 12 i mean raped he inserted his thing, he cut me it wuz so awful i feel you gurl keep strong remeber that we luv you... peace

i feel for you so much. I also have been aquaintance raped, and I'm finding it very hard to talk about and especially write about. I have told a few close friends but I don't even trust that they take it seriously...I'm so broken inside due to the rape and other unfortunate incidents surrounding a similar time period. Not only did he force himself upon me, but he also diseased me. Fortunately I'm clear now but it was a very hard time. I know exactly how you feel, and even though it may feel like no-one could possibly understand there are people in the world who truly do. You just have to find them. Hunny don't let yourself get too down about it, no matter how hard it is. It's in the past now, all you can do is move on, and the same goes for anyone else who has experienced Date/Aquaintance Rape. And as for you Invisibl I can't even be bothered to comment on you...You're just sick and so so shallow. I realy HATE people like you...

Don't exactly know what to tell at this moment but believe me , u are the strongest 'Woman' I have ever seen. U may not be physically strong enough but U have the enough mental strength which can never be downed in the darkness of any night by anyone.

Invisible is a fool. While there are manipulative women out there, no still means no at any point. To the young girls who posted about being raped, you need to tell someone. It will be rough, it was for my sister when she was attacked, but no one benefits from your silence except your enemies.

I was also raped 3 years ago when I was nine...so I'm twelve now. I understand what you going through. I was raped by my stepfather... I never really told anyone but your story helped a lot.

It's amazing that you're willing to share that with other people. I admire you greatly.

I'm not as old as I say, and have been the victim of incest at the hands of my father for 9 years, since I was 6. The rape is ongoing. (Do a little math, and you'll have my age) I've blocked all of the rapes out of my memory, but am regaining them in nightmares.

As soon as I can put enough together, I'm going to tell someone, your story helped me to decide that it isn't alright, to keep silent, I'm just not ready yet.

I thank God everyday for people like you. I am 19 and I was raped by my moms boyfriend when I was 14. What is worse I was raped a week ago by two diffeerent guys. I was not going to tell anyone again but then I saw this and it made me want to get out what happened. Thank you so much for giving me the courage to speak up about what happened.

Sweetie more power to you for telling your story. Your right being raped wasnt your fault, it was the sick fuck's fault and I hope you pressed charges against him.

Thank you for being brave enough to share what happened to you. I understand how you feel because I was raped too. I knew the person who raped me and it's been nearly 4 years since it happened, but still I have so much fear, anger, depression, and I cry a lot. I am so sorry you went through this. I will pray for you. Invisible, your comment is very ignorant. No one wants to be raped or asks for it in the way that they act, dress, etc. The person who did this to her is completely and totally at fault. Please get educated on what rape is before you comment on something as sensitive as this.

sorry you had to go through something like that, you must have been terrified! and that one chick invisible is some slutty skank bitch whore! shes probably the one out there raping people!

I was a victim of acquaintence rape also. It's something that, the consequences of which, I'm not sure can ever be accurately explained. The intense rage I felt after that night has never faded to this day- 5 years later. It's always there in the back of my mind. Invisible, I can't even begin to describe what an ignorant prick you are. She said no, he continued. It's rape. How much more clear does it need to be? I hope you get the same treatment when you're in prison that you give other women.

Thank you so much for having the strength to share your story for those who need encouragement or for those who just need to understand what victims of rape have to suffer through.

Invisible, I don't know who you think you are, but how dare you attack this woman who bared her soul so that others wouldn't have to suffer through her pain.

It is people like you with their narrow-minded views who make it so that so many women who are raped keep it to themselves, in fear that someone, like yourself, will place all the blame on them and not in the rightful place...the BOY who commited the rape.

Your comment shows only your immaturity and nothing else. I pray to God that you come to your senses soon before you have the chance to hurt yet another person.

Dear Invisibl--- What the fuck are you talking about? Are you crazy? Listen to me on this-and everyone else reading this post-Just because this girl, SCARED FOR HER LIFE, asked her RAPIST to put on a condom, does not mean she consented to having sex with him. Does 'walk me back to my dorm' read to anyone as 'i want you to force yourself on me'? No MORON, and it's people like you that cause rapes like this...Uneducated idiots that dont understand the word, "NO." Mixed messages or not, a woman has the right to stop things whenever she wants. She is allowed to flirt without having to have sex later. She is allowed to walk with a man without having to sleep with him. You can bet your ass that I would BEG somebody to put on a condom if they were raping me--a rapist piece of gutter-trash shit like that? Who KNOWS where else he's been, what else he's got. I'm through lecturing this piece of shit... Girl, you made mistakes, but you ARE NOT AT FAULT. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. Stay strong. -Melanie

That's not rape...that's called-you getting shit-faced and flirting with a guy then telling him to put on a condom before having sex with you.

Perhaps, if you hadn't sent mixed signals...such as coming back to your room with him, flirting with him, he wouldn't have taken your sexual openess as just that--sexual openess.

Maybe he did force himself on you, but one does not tell the person who is raping them to put on a condom if they are resisting being raped.