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Shitty Roommate Already
Posted:09/04/2009
Views: 6,584
Grade: C
Comments 1
So I'm a freshman...and I've got the worst possible roommate. I've only been here a week and I already know her way to well. I thought rooming with someone I didn't know would force me to get out and meet more people....I thought wrong.
STRIKE ONE- It's move in day, as were unpacking she pulls out a huge roll of condoms. She proceeds to ask me if i would like to borrow a couple...then goes on to say that shes slept with so many people that shes lost count.
STRIKE TWO- she smokes constantly...I mean literally all the time.
STRIKE THREE- Later that night I'm taking some daily vitamins and pills and she tells me that she spent all her 11th grade year in rehab for drug abuse. Then in 12th grade she says she attempted suicide (this explains why shes 19 and a freshman). I ask her if she has gotten better....she tells me she still pops pills. Later that night she goes to a frat party and sells Aderol for 200 bucks.
STRIKE FOUR- So the morning after we move in she comes strolling in at 12 in the afternoon, hungover with a wad of cash. She changes clothes like five times. I comment on how many clothes she has. She then tells me that she steals them all (note to self: lock up my shit).
STRIKE FIVE: Her four friends arrive the second day of move in. That night they're all dressed like hoes standing in my dorm. Just as they're about to leave, my roommate askes if she should bring her pipe and bowl....
STRIKE SIX: The next morning when she comes strolling she tells me that I'm not allowed to touch her pipe no matter what (psht I'm here to get a degree not high). To enforce this rule she pulls out a Swiss army knife jokingly....ha ..ha
STRIKE SEVEN: All hyped up on drugs she flips out on me for stealing her cigarettes (I don't even smoke) eventually she finds them underneath a sheet of paper on her desk.
STRIKE EIGHT: 30 bucks is missing from my shit.
STRIKE NINE: Shes Bi-polar and sleeps during the day when shes not whoring at night
HOPEFULLY SHE'S GOING TO MOVE OUT AND IN WITH ONE OF HER FRIENDS UNTIL THEN...WE PRAY
STRIKE ONE- It's move in day, as were unpacking she pulls out a huge roll of condoms. She proceeds to ask me if i would like to borrow a couple...then goes on to say that shes slept with so many people that shes lost count.
STRIKE TWO- she smokes constantly...I mean literally all the time.
STRIKE THREE- Later that night I'm taking some daily vitamins and pills and she tells me that she spent all her 11th grade year in rehab for drug abuse. Then in 12th grade she says she attempted suicide (this explains why shes 19 and a freshman). I ask her if she has gotten better....she tells me she still pops pills. Later that night she goes to a frat party and sells Aderol for 200 bucks.
STRIKE FOUR- So the morning after we move in she comes strolling in at 12 in the afternoon, hungover with a wad of cash. She changes clothes like five times. I comment on how many clothes she has. She then tells me that she steals them all (note to self: lock up my shit).
STRIKE FIVE: Her four friends arrive the second day of move in. That night they're all dressed like hoes standing in my dorm. Just as they're about to leave, my roommate askes if she should bring her pipe and bowl....
STRIKE SIX: The next morning when she comes strolling she tells me that I'm not allowed to touch her pipe no matter what (psht I'm here to get a degree not high). To enforce this rule she pulls out a Swiss army knife jokingly....ha ..ha
STRIKE SEVEN: All hyped up on drugs she flips out on me for stealing her cigarettes (I don't even smoke) eventually she finds them underneath a sheet of paper on her desk.
STRIKE EIGHT: 30 bucks is missing from my shit.
STRIKE NINE: Shes Bi-polar and sleeps during the day when shes not whoring at night
HOPEFULLY SHE'S GOING TO MOVE OUT AND IN WITH ONE OF HER FRIENDS UNTIL THEN...WE PRAY
Check out ...
- Westfield State College
Editors Note:
Bring on more bad roommate tales. Just try to surprise us.
Comments
a word of advice... relax. the only thing abnormal about this chick is that she may have stole thirty dollars from you, in which case, like you said, keep your shit locked up. All the other stuff is par for the course, if she gets in the way of your studying or anything there are always private study areas and there is always the libarary. try tor relax, talk to her, and find some stuff in common. You might find that you like partying a little bit to, and maybe she can use someone like you to get her back on track... or maybe shes crazy who am i to judge...