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Mad Dog Madness--Part One
4PM: Jamie, Ryan, and I go for a nice trail ride--later Andy shows up and we BBQ with a few good brews to compliment the meal. Joking around I throw out the option of doing a mad dog race, not thinking anyone will go for it. To my surprise Ryan and Jamie are all for it, while myself, not planning on getting drunk, and Andy, who has to work at 8AM the next day don’t really think it would be a good idea from the story we both had read.
6PM: After our beers Andy and I, decide that a little more alcohol couldn’t hurt. We decide to see what the big deal is with this so-called Mad Dog Race.
7PM: Andy and I go to the first of three liquor stores to purchase our Mad Dog. When we walk to the counter with six bottles of mad dog, the cashier asks if we are sure we want all of them, also she mentioned that the Red Grape Wine flavor is horrible, and that we are going to be “really drunk.” Total bill for the six bottles is less than 15 dollars.
7:15PM: On the ride back to campus, we all suddenly feel like this may have not been the wisest choice we could have made, but nonetheless we are excited to start the night off. Also, we figure it will be more fun if we have more participants so we find three more guys to join in.
8PM: Four more bottles of mad dog are purchased.
8:10PM: Keith is studying physics right now, but I decide to call him up and inform him of our upcoming race, he originally thinks the mad dog race is some sort of fundraising event, after clearing up the confusion, he decides to join us.
8:15PM: All the mad dog is put into the freezer to at least make our drinks cooler than room temperature.
8:25PM: We decide not to be pansies and begin the race in spite of our lukewarm beverages.
8:30PM: 20 minutes after Keith was first interrupted from his studying he is standing in Ryan’s room with nine other guys: Eric, Tony, Red, Keith, Michael, Brendan, Jamie, Andy, Ryan and me. We start the clock and all twist off the caps of our Mad Dog.
8:31PM: After a large chug, we all look at each other and instantly register our mutual looks of disgust. Nevertheless, it still is a race and we need to finish these as quickly as possible, so I turn the music up in Ryan’s room to get everything going right.
8:32PM: We have all decided this is the worst thing we have ever tasted and decide to swap drinks with everyone else to try all of the wonderful flavors. They all suck. But somehow the huge underdog Ryan is going to town with his bottle.
8:33PM: I turn the music up to insane levels, everything is going great.
8:35PM: Ryan finishes seven hundred and fifty milliliters of the foulest booze ever made. Obliterating the record of 11 minutes, Ryan finishes in just under 5 minutes. Since he was the big underdog, we all increase our pace.
8:36PM: Tony comes back into the room with a bag of pretzels. The booze is so bad that some people start using the pretzels as a chaser.
8:40PM: The bag of pretzels is gone and there are crumbs all over Ryan’s floor. By this time most of the contestants are done with their bottles. Ryan also decides to mix a drink, so he asks Andy to pour some of his 90 proof vodka into a PowerAde, well Andy decides to add about a quarter of the PowerAde bottle and fill up with vodka, but it is ok. At this point we also have to start to convince people to keep going and an uplifting aura comes over the room as everyone is going to finish their bottles eventually…
8:42PM: I finish my bottle and proceed to drink two beers to get the bad taste out of my mouth. This becomes a common practice as people finish their vile Mad Dog.
8:45PM: The final remains of the mad dog is gone. In addition, we are all feeling invincible. This is the thing about mad dog; it makes you feel so good, that you think you can drink anything in the world. Not good.
8:50PM: I bring down my bottle bong, a little contraption that will turn a bottle of beer into a bong. I try and get Keith to try it out, so I show him how to do it. He is reluctant.
Throughout the night I try to get everyone I see to try my bottle bong, of course I have to show them how to use it before they try. I tried to get Keith to do it probably 4 times within 30 minutes, each time he chickened out and I do it just to show him how easy it is. This is where I have to make some guesses to fill in the blanks because, well there is no clear record of what happens from anyone, from here on out.
It's funny no stories come out about Mad Dog Fun.